Tinkerbell

Canon EOS300 + Ilford FP4+

Model: Laetitia

(This week I'm not commenting the Photosynthesis images I will publish but rather am letting my models comment them and talk about the experience of shooting for this project.)

I have had the singular experience of playing the model for Ben's Photosynthesis project, in my birthday suit. Ben asked me not to wear any make-up, because his work questions our relationship to the natural world. It had been too long since I had put aside the trappings that make me feel included in society.

Make-up is an armor to protect myself from the gaze of others. It's a process that allows me to keep control over my image. In this way, thanks to makeup, people don't see the neuroatypical Laetitia who struggles to fit in socially. They see a luscious, accessible and eccentric Nyden.

This is a reality for all women. When we don't use make-up, we are seen as neglecting ourselves, or ill. When we do, we often hear reproaches of not being "natural enough". With or without make up, it's a catch 22.

I also felt anxious about being naked, because I've put on a lot of weight these last few years. Much as I advocate against fatphobia, I still wear uncomfortable slimming girdles. At the end of the day, when I take my underwear off, the girdle marks are all over my body, like stigmata of yet another day of discomfort.

But the experience of posing [for Photosynthesis] - thanks to Benoit's professionalism - turned this into a liberating experience. I'd even go as far as saying that it may have healed something in me. It makes me extremely proud to have been part of this artistic project.

I also want to mention that I did not think I could feel as safe as I did posing naked. Benoit never cast a judging glance on my body. In fact, he never even looked at me other than through his viewfinder. He calmly guided me through the poses, never touched me, and looked the other way when I was walking to slip on a bathrobe.

Ultimately it was a moment of freedom.